Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
