Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
