just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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