Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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