but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
