i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
