I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
