I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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