he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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