When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
