dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Two words: nipple clamps
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