Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
