due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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