Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
