I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
