my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
