Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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