those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
whose ass print is on the piano?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
