i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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