Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
