She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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