ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
