then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
