hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize