wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
