if i can run in heels then i can drive
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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