I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
