His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
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You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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