i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
