I looked at my own cervix.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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