Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
