Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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