We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
