My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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