is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
