I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
