i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This house was built for laser tag.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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