Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
