I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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