Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
