If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
