Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
