Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize