Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
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I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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