I just threw up on my dentist
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
