I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
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Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
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I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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