I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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