Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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