dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
