Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
