my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i think i have two assholes
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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