You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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