My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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