Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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