you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
