How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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