so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
