I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
