if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
