Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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