we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
