I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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