I think im going to throw up on grandma
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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